![]() ![]() Her skilled nursing care was also $10,000 a month. My mother suffered a stroke in 2020 that left her paralyzed and bedridden in a skilled nursing unit for three years before she passed in 2023. My father then spent three years in a memory care facility at $10,000 a month before he died in 2020. My parents had $750,000 in their early 80s. ![]() ![]() It is true that if you don’t use it, you lose it – so I urge you to take careful steps toward recovering function.ĭear Amy: Responding to your advice to “Grateful Grandchild,” who wanted to receive an inheritance from grandparents “early”: My hospital shares space with a popular gym, and it is inspiring to see people carefully working with physical therapists, alongside other patrons who are simply working out. I appreciate your insight about the connection between your mobility fears and your isolation. 1: See your physician! Your aches and pains could be successfully treated. Since the development of aching hips and knees, I’ve been really resistant to going out and this has caused me to grow isolated and depressed, which in turn has made my physical issues worse.ĭear Dave: Suggestion No. The two issues go hand in hand, as I used to have no real problems going out shopping and such. She is trying, and that will have to be enough.ĭear Amy: I’m a 67-year-old male and am having a hard time with physical mobility issues and the anxiety of going out. She should continue to make occasional efforts to connect with her father, if doing so relieves the impulse and if the effort makes her feel worthy.īut for her, “moving on” would involve anticipating and completely detaching from the outcome. She must decide to be a constant, loving and compassionate parent to her children, and take pride in the healthy relationship and good example she sets for them. It would be helpful for her to understand that her father’s behavior has provided a useful negative example for how lasting and painful parental rejection is. Your daughter is now coping with her sadness by behaving in the way rejected children often behave – by searching, yearning, and desperately trying to fix a relationship that possibly cannot be fixed. Every time she makes an effort, she is reminded of the rejection. And now he doesn’t even need to put any effort into his punishment, because she is doing it for him. Her father successfully implanted decades of guilt when, as a teenager she declined to visit him, and he cut himself off from her and then blamed her for his own actions.įor this, he has decided to punish her for as long as it takes. Dear Moved On: I think it’s a heavy lift to “forget” a parent – even one who has thoroughly rejected their child.Ī more helpful effort might be for your daughter to thoroughly explore and understand her own feelings and motivations. ![]()
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